Thursday, June 25, 2009

Public Service Announcement

As millions of Americans strive to eat healthier and take better care of themselves, there remains a sub-group of the population that resists healthy eating. They turn their backs on Omega 3's and whole wheat. Maintaining that their larger mid-section is a "love-machine" or that their women love them just the way they are. This sub-group is The Husbands.

The Husbands are a product of their environment. The were reared in households where food was the vehicle to obtain their father's daydream of a middle linebacker as a son. Only to the wake up 15 years later and realize their bodies have not kept up with their eating habits. The college lifestyle can also attribute to an expanding waistline. Long nights of beer, pizza and ramen does not a healthy man make.

In order to protect your love investment, be sure to recognize the signs of an unhealthy eater. The sooner action is taken, the better the success rate. Do not attempt to encourage outdoor activities to promote weight loss until a healthier diet is implemented. The Husbands will feel excessive unhealthy eating is warranted if exercise has taken place.

Be very careful adjusting the subjects diet. They have been known to lash out when faced with change that they did not initiate. Especially in the case of their food, of which they can be highly protective. Modifications to their diet to promote health and well being must be done discretely, and should be inconspicuous. Below are several suggestions that will help result in success.
- Do not be afraid to switch containers. The Husbands can not recognize lite miracle whip from mayonnaise if jar looks the same.

- The Husbands tend to shovel. Capitalize on this opportunity by hiding vegetables in the meatloaf.

- Buy lite beer, and claim the store was out of the "usual". Desperation can be a powerful motivator.

- Spaghetti sauce is just the perfect shade of red to hide the slight color difference of whole wheat pasta.

- Tofu that is diced correctly and tossed in a stir fry and smothered with teriayki sauce can not be discerned from chicken.

- Put cheese on it. Remember: buy 2% and hide the bag.

- Ground turkey looks exactly like ground beef once it's been browned.

- A box of chocolate cake mix and a can of diet coke. Taste and appearances can be deceiving.

- A heavy coat of breading can conceal a healthy piece of fish. Be sure to invest in a "steaky" fish and call it chicken.

It is extremely important not to disclose your intentions or your actions. This can result in a devastating setback of hostile resistance. Not to mention your credibility as a provider. Take small steps and always maintain your innocence. Perseverance is key to your success. Good Luck.


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