Yes, this is my poker face.

Convincing a toddler to do anything can be an uphill battle.

Let's put on your shoes. No!
Let's take off your shoes. No!
Let's brush your teeth. No!
Lets pick up your toys. Silent treatment.
Let's go get a bath. Runs screaming in the other direction.

The exceptions in my house is if the request involves ice cream, Noggin, Elmo or choo-choos. Then anything is possible.

These tiny daily battles leave me feeling defeated, unproductive and relatively exhausted.

No, your right, it shouldn't take me 15 minutes, 3 laps around my house, a wrestling match, and a quick game of pick-up what I drop mommy every morning to get socks and shoes on my child, but it does. And yes, this qualifies that as my cardio for the day.

But I have a confession; one I am ashamed to admit out loud. Sometimes I yell, and sometimes it actually works.

However, as became demonstrably clear the other night at bath time. I apparently yell more than I'd like to believe.

Scene:
Tyler, for the third time, has jumped up and slammed his bottom down into the tub causing a tide wave of water to slosh against the side of the tub while he flings his washcloth like a whip sending a spattering of water onto me and the wall adjacent to the tub.

Me [snapping]: "Tyler! Stop that! Look what you've done!"

Probably louder than I meant to.

Tyler [pointing]: "Ooooh, Mommy you mad"

I froze and looked at Tyler puzzled. He giggled back at me as I launched into a hysterical laughing fit and fell off the toilet. Which he also thought was pretty funny.

And this is why I am a pathetic excuse for a parent when it comes to doling out punishment.

Because I can't stop laughing long enough to keep a straight face.