Bissell: Deep down clean

Kids put the strangest things in their mouths. Boys especially.

I know a gal who's son has a fascination with eating mulch. Every time they're outside. Poor gal can't even get a moments peace without a little munching. Sadly, this is also the same kid who horked a dead baby bird. His mother was beside herself.

My son is no exception. He has an unhealthy obsession with vacuum cleaners. It's like Christmas every time I get the Dyson out with it's clear tornado like dirt chamber and all of it's fun attachments. This inevitably leads to him bringing up his play vacuum cleaner to push along side me. Which he received as a gift from my bestie who thinks his love of vacuum cleaners is hysterical and could not resist the opportunity to torment me.

But yesterday, the mother of all vacuum cleaners came to visit. A behemoth of a carpet shampooer, courtesy of my father. He felt my house smelled a bit too much of dog/cat.

Gee thanks dad, passive aggressive much?

Well, now that you mention it and since you went to all that trouble, there are a few areas that could benefit from a good cleaning.

When I was finished, due to my lack storage space and the sheer heft of the machine was too much for me to lug anywhere else, I left it sitting in my living room; where Tyler was sure to see it when he came home from the sitters.

And as exactly as predicted, when he came home, he freaked.

"Waz at? Momma, Waz at? WAZ IZ AT!?!" He squealed as he danced around it, pointing.

"A carpet cleaner, do not touch"

But after about 2 hours of walking by it, seeing it out of the corner of his eye, and not being able to touch it, the temptation was just too much.

He kissed it.

He bent over and planted a big ol' sloppy kiss right on the front of the carpet cleaner.

I nearly fainted.

When I had finished shrieking the laundry list of unsanitary complications of his actions, he giggled back at me and kissed it again.

This was too much for ME. I had to sit down.

Tyler, detecting my frustration, scurried over to console me. He presenting me with an equally sloppy kiss on the lips. Now we were sharing the dirty carpet cleaner germs. Aww, how nice.

[sigh]

I shook my head. I suppose a dirty kiss is better than no kiss at all.

But just to be safe, Tyler and I marched right upstairs to brush our teeth.