Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How do I look?

I routinely do stupid and embarrassing things.

Usually because I operate on autopilot most days. Moving around, with a zombie like focus (minus the death and destruction), conducting various mundane tasks, distracted by my own "deep" random thoughts.

I've driven right past the turn to the sitters, stopped at the stop light, waited, made the right turn, driven down my street, parked in my driveway, exited my vehicle, unlocked my front door, set my stuff down on the hall table, only to then realize I forgot to pick up Tyler. I've done this at least a dozen times. [mental head slap]

I've shrunk more of the husband's t-shirts than I'd care to admit because I am completely incapable of multi-tasking while doing laundry.

I've worn my underwear inside out. all day. without even noticing.

I've blamed messes on the cats because I don't want to admit I'm the one who knocked over the cat food container with my graceful wide sweeping backhand while practicing my cheerleading moves.

I've absently substituted a tablespoon of salt for a teaspoon of salt in an apple cobbler recipe because I was too busy singing to the radio.

I've been caught red handed butt dancing to the Backyardigans theme song. What can I say, it's catchy. [shrugs]

At least once a week I forget to put a second earring in, I can rock the Mr. Clean look.

If I get a phone call while fixing dinner, just go ahead and order pizza right then. Because talking while cooking is not a set of skills I possess. I'm serious, people. I've burnt pudding before.

I once managed to get flour on the 10ft high ceilings in the kitchen of my childhood home, while baking a cake. I still scratch my head over this one.

I wore a new shirt one day without remembering to remove the size sticker, oh so conveniently positioned over my left nipple. It was like I was wearing a flashing sign announcing that I shop in the women's department. [whimper] that list is longer than I thought it would be.

Please excuse me while I drown my embarrassment in a 1/2 gallon of strawberry cheescake ice cream.


Julie July 2, 2009 at 9:24 PM  

One of the funniest blog posts I've read in a long time...

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