Life with a 2yr old

Tyler has a small obsession with pickles. He'd eat them at every meal if I let him. Correction, he'd eat them FOR every meal if I let him. With ketchup on top.

On average, I go through about a jar of pickles spears a week. The good refrigerated kind. Because, lets be honest, life's too short to eat crappy pickles.

However, last night, it occurred to me that I need to seriously reconsider Tyler's pickle habits.

It was the nightly diaper change that involved poop. Because my son is nothing if not regular, and fair. He poops once a day at the sitters, and once a day at home. Awww, how nice, he shares.

The husband, being the dutiful husband he is, offer to "help" or hang around just in case I needed an extra set of hands. I sat on the floor, ripped the sides of the pull-up apart and exposed the nasal offender. I was speechless. Well, almost, the conversation went something like this:

ME: "Good God! It's.....GREEN! [tipping the diaper back to inspect more closely] What did he eat yesterday?"

HUSBAND: "Uhm....I gave him a pickle for lunch?"

ME: "And he conned 2 outta me for dinner" [sigh]

ME [@ Tyler]: "Buddy, I think mommy is gonna have to cut back on your pickle consumption, you're pooping pickles!"

TYLER: [Pulling down the diaper to see for himself] "Is that my pickle poop?"

The husband and I looked at each other, and fell to the floor laughing hysterically. I tried not to dump the diaper contents on the floor as tears ran down my face, and the husband had to leave the room. Tyler, realizing he'd made a funny, covered his mouth, snickered and said it again with more excitement.

"Pickle Poop!"

It was a good 5 mins before we'd regained our composure. Dear god, please don't let him repeat that at the sitters today. I'm not sure I could handle explaining to 6 other mommy's why my child thinks pickle poop is hilarious.

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It was all hands on deck

When your pregnant, cravings can be very dangerous; for not only yourself but for those around you. Heaven help the man who chooses not to aid a woman during one of her many pregnancy induced food cravings.

Last night, that poor man was my son Tyler. At about 7:30pm, I became overrun by a burning desire for a cheeseburger, a get outta my way; I’m in a hurry kind of desire. But I didn’t want one of McDonald’s wimpy, limp, small, pathetic burgers. No I need me a CHEESEBURGER. Why? Because some dumb idiot thought it’d be a GREAT idea to run a cheeseburger commercial during one of MY shows; A commercial that had all kinds of close-ups and panning of how hot and juicy it looked. With its melty cheese and crisp pickles and tomatoes. Stupid marketing ploys….

Unfortunately, Tyler was too caught up in his play-dough building to be bothered by his mother’s latest insanity. So he protested, and I tried rationalizing, “It will only take a minute, we’ll be right back”.

Then he stomped his foot, so I tried bargaining, “Want mommy to get you a happy meal toy?”

Then he just shook his head no, so I tried pleading, “But mommy is VERY hungry”.

When he shot back with a loud “NO!” I’d had enough.

I scooped him up in his pj’s, slung him under my arm, his slippers bobbing precariously on the end of his toes, threatening to slip off, grabbed my car keys on the way out and plopped him into the car seat.

I knew I’d regret eating anything this late. But I didn’t care. I was consumed.

I drummed my fingers on the dashboard impatiently as the guy in front of me dawdled and took his sweet time obeying the speed limit in our residential neighborhood. I fidgeted with my gear shift as I waited in the drive-thru line as the lady ahead of me leisurely pursued the menu. And nearly took a kids arm off at the drive-thru window as he handed me my sack and I stepped on the gas and hauled ass back to my house.

I savored every bite, even if they had screwed up my order and put onions on my cheeseburger. And just as I predicted, as I neared the end of my sandwich, I sorely regretted my decision.

I.was.full.

In that, stick-a-fork-in-me-I’m-done kinda way. And at that moment I could have doubled as a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon I was so bloated and full, but I didn’t care, I may have been miserable. But I was happy. At least, until the next out of control craving hit.

So all persons living in a 5 mile radius of my abode be on the lookout for a crazy-eyed, curly-haired pregnant woman in a house coat. And keep a wide berth.

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Introducing Evelyn Lee.....

The tech on Monday was "extremely confident" that there was no doubt we were blessed with a little girl. And so graciously provided us with a money shot, or a lack of money as the husband has already started lamenting about. The husband has, however, quietly admitted he's very excited to have a little girl, even if the thought of having a girl is already forcing him to loose sleep.

With confirmation that my thoughts all along were correct, I have slept just fine and I have spent the past 2 days day-dreaming about the next stage of of pre-baby planning....the nursery. Because despite my best intentions with Tyler to create a "gender-neutral" nursery, I failed miserably. Blues, greens, turtles....not very "girly".

My failure, though will allow me to flex my creative muscles and create a very girl-centric nursery, with lots of shopping as a natural byproduct. I've already got a good idea of what the room will look like.

We'll do a pink and chocolate brown theme with lambs as accents.

The walls will be soft pink on top, with a white chair rail and chocolate brown below.

I found this reusable vinyl wall expression to go right above the crib from a good friend who sells Upper Case Living.


So far that's all I've got, but it has only been 2 days!

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