Monday, October 26, 2009

Who, what, where, when & how?

Holy Toledo Batman!

Has it really been almost 4 weeks since my last post!?! I guess am the epitome of a slacker, but I promise I've got good reason.

It's been a rough several of weeks around our house. Illness, home renovations, personal pleasure, personal strife. We've had it all.

Tyler got sick in early October, runny nose, hacking cough, getting up several times a night. The usual MO for his colds. I followed suit shortly after thanks in part to many mommy hugs accompanied by a cough in the face and a snotty nose tracks on my sleeve. Gotta love toddlers. Round 1 lasted about a week and a half.

The husband was lucky enough to be taking his "vacation" right smack dab in the middle of round 1. I'll put "vacation" in quotation marks because we didn't really go anywhere, it was more of a mental vacation for him. My loving husband actually sacrificed his remaining 1 week vacation time to strip, sand & repaint our lower level. I knew there was a reason I loved him

The downside was, I was sick and the project was taking over the house. It was a disaster, and I didn't have the energy to clean up behind him. But it didn't much matter because the husband was home for an entire week.

I love it when he's home. I love having a normal home life, where we have dinner every night at 5pm as a family, I have an extra set of hands in the morning to wrangle and dressed a fickle toddler, not having to have normal marital conversations via text and just relaxing, watching TV and being content knowing my husband is in the same room with me.

What I don't love is my snoring, flat on his back, pillow stealing, blanket hogging, diagonal spread eagle sleeping husband. He is the WORST person to sleep with.

So sleep was very elusive that week he was home.

At the tail end of the husband's vacation he started to show signs of getting sick. Just as Tyler and I were starting to feel better.

But 3 days later Tyler got hives, again. The second time since August. Then he started running a fever, had a cough, a runny nose and had an earache. Begin Round 2. I freaked, all I could think of was Tyler had H1N1 (a quick shout out to the national media for their expertness in fear-mongering and their ability to make this normally sane, easy going mommy a nervous wreck). Even the nurses were thinking H1N1. Hence the lovely face mask.

The doctor, thankfully said it was just a sinus infection, prescribed some antibiotics and said he should be feeling better in about 48hrs. Whew!

That was Tuesday. By this past Saturday, I also began round 2 of sickness. This time, it was more sinus pressure than the achiness I had last time. Thank you Tyler. Mwah!

So, needless to say, our family is living in one giant petri dish of germs, just passing the ickies back and forth to each other.

Illness, however wasn't the only reason I failed to post. There is also an emotional factor involved.

While all of the lovely germies were being passed around and we were wallowing in our misery. The husband and I were pregnant.

I stress the were in that statement.

After a week and a half of dealing with a sickness, what I thought was a UTI and an early lackluster period, I tested positive on a Saturday morning.

The husband and I were ecstatic, because it is no secret that we've been trying since late July for #2. And despite all the signs that it might not look promising, we were giddy with excitement and could barely wait for the doctor's office to open Monday morning. We even called and told the husband's sister, my dad and my step mom.

However, after some blood work, a doctor's visit that she said everything looked great, and some more blood work it was determined that I was in fact miscarrying.

It was early. I was maybe 3-4 weeks. Barely pregnant, what doctors would call a "chemical pregnancy". There is no pain or discomfort, only the inconvenience of having a 3 week long period. But the emotional pain is not easily observed.

Due to personal family issues, our plans of trying for #2 had been put on hold for nearly a year. So by July, when I felt we were comfortable enough to begin trying, I was in full blown baby fever mode. The kind where your biological clock is beating you over the head with a hammer and you feel pangs of jealously for every woman you see lucky enough to be pregnant.

So I grieve. silently. Because I know this isn't the end of the road for us, it's just the beginning. But it doesn't lessen the pain. Just enforces the fact that we must start all over.

Ok, pity party for one over. There's my update. Onward and upward. And I promise to post again tomorrow. See you then.

2 comments:

Julie October 26, 2009 at 8:15 PM  

Oh, honey. What a terrible time for you and your family. As if it's not bad enough feeling miserable and dealing with an equally miserable toddler. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Mandy November 20, 2009 at 7:00 PM  

Oh Andrea, I am so sorry to hear that. (I'm way behind on blogs, but I still wanted to offer you my condolences.) You'll be in my thoughts.

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