Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The weight of a conversation

Why is it that everything always comes easier to men? Or at least SEEM like it does? Especially in the weight loss department.

My weight is the bane of my existence. I have battled with it for as long as I can remember. Up, down, up, down, up, up, up. The scale never moves in the preferred direction, and now thanks to motherhood, it's perpetually stuck at a very scary number.

I still daydream about losing weight. I imagine what my body would feel like to loose just 15-20 lbs. How sexy I could be. Oh, you like what you see huh?

I'd probably still have my mommy pooch but at least my ass wouldn't spread out wider than the seat of a normal size chair.

My daydreams have a material connection. I still cling to a pair of skinny jeans in hopes that one day I'll return to that size. A pair of jeans I've owned since pre freshman-15, pre sophomore 15, pre newly-wed 9, pre I'm in a comfortable loving relationship and I've stop worrying about what I look like naked therefore I gained 20 lbs.

Oh who am I kidding, I still worry about what I look like naked. Lights off please. I gained the 20lbs because the husband and I have a mutual love of food.

But yesterday was too much. Yesterday, was the cherry on my whipped cream pie of a life.

The husband texts me to make a casual observation. Really I think he was just trying to poke me when I was down.

Husband: "Damn, I've lost 10lbs since I went to the doctor last" (which was just 3 weeks ago)

Me: "I hate you"

Husband: "No really, I weighed myself on the scale in the back of the warehouse."
Long pause as I consider the mental picture of the husband standing on what I'm sure is a giant industrial scale used to weigh pallets of dog food.
Me: "Congratulations."

Husband: "Thanks"

Me: "You missed the sarcasm"

Husband: "Oh"


Simi October 27, 2009 at 8:51 PM  

i really can feel your pain... :( but without the baby weight.. it really doesn't help that my husband is a stick...

the only solution that works that I have found is to eat like i hate food... but I LOVE FOOD, and i CAN NOT eat for the sake of eating/sustanance I want to eat because something TASTES good.. it sucks.

Colleen October 28, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

Hugs! I think you're wonderful just the way you are! And boys just don't understand! :)

Julie October 28, 2009 at 12:38 PM  

Oh my gosh, I couldn't agree with you more. When I first did Weight Watchers, it took me over a year to lose 45 pounds (which I've since gained back, plus some, because I have no freaking self control). However, when DH decided to try to lose some weight, he dropped 25 pounds in 4 months. SERIOUSLY!?!

I'm back on the wagon again, hoping to lose...it seems to be getting harder as I'm getting older. Grrrr!

Danica October 29, 2009 at 11:56 AM  

Hugs!!!! I wish losing weight was easier for me too. I'm struggling and I try and try, but then I love food too much.

I too am holding on to a pair of skinny pants!

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