Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thar she blows!

I really should invest in pantyliner's.

Or maxi pads.

Or a really good laundry detergent.

Or maybe even....[gulp] incontinence products. Oh my god, I'm gonna need adult diapers.

I'm gonna be a 30 yr old pregnant woman, waddling around with a over sized squishy butt who makes a crinkle noise when she sits. I can hear me now.

Swish, swash, swish, swash, crinkle
, crinkle.

Why?

Because every time I sneeze, I pee myself.

Aah! Aah! Ah-choo! [trickle] Damn it!

There. I said it. I have bladder control issues.

I go through about 3 pairs of underwear, and two pairs of maternity pants a day. Mainly because I refuse to admit that I am a grown woman who can't control her own bladder.

Hell, my 3 yr old has better bowel controls than I do right now and he's still potty training!

[sigh]

It's even worse when baby girl wakes up and starts her running man impression on my bladder. Thump, thump, thump, tinkle....

I wonder if Julia Roberts peed herself when she was pregnant? Nah...she's pretty woman. Pretty woman don't pee herself. She's got herself together.

Although, it would make my situation a bit more glamorous. To think of celebrities also wearing adult diapers. We could all just sit around, in our pee-pee pants, sipping coffee and gossiping. Like we were all BFF's.

Breaking News: It's the new spring trend! Neon colored pee-pee pants! Don't be caught without yours!

.........

Who am I kidding. It's not fashionable, It's embarrassing. Even the husband thinks it's hysterical.

Makes me wonder if he'd find it so funny if the tables were turned. If he was the one wetting himself 3 times a day for the sake of procreation.

I'd gather not.

3 comments:

Colleen April 8, 2010 at 11:06 AM  

That's funny... but I guess I can say that since I've never experienced it. I have gotten quite a few "oh my God I peed myself when I sneezed" calls from some dear pregnant friends though - good birth control for a friend who isn't quite ready for kids yet!

I think there's a market out there for pee-pee pants Andrea. Maybe it's your key to millions! :)

Marcie April 8, 2010 at 11:40 AM  

I'm laughing with you, not at you, I promise!!!

my husband has suggested I wear depends at other times as well...men!

Trisha R Jackson April 9, 2010 at 7:01 AM  

Ah yes, the joys of pregnancy. I think about that every time I sneeze. Too bad you can't catch those things early enough!

  © Blogger templates ProBlogger Template by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP