Today is the big day. The husband and I are heading this afternoon to our ultrasound.
I originally told the husband that I didn't want to know what we were having. I wanted it to be a surprise until birth. I was met with mixed emotions from my family and friends. Most of my family was very supportive, my stepmother thought it was wonderful! My friends were slightly disappointed, but understood. My sister, however, was crushed. She felt I was personally punishing her, and spent much of that day ignoring me. She's made it well known that she "expects" a girl this time around. And has even had one-on-one conversation with the husband about his fate if he failed to produce her a girl.
So when the neurotic planner in me started to realize that I'd have to wait till AFTER the baby was born to do any shopping, decorating, organizing, etc. I panicked. OMG! What about this, what about that, how am I going to...I had worked myself into a mad frenzy by week 14.
It was then that my stepmother calmly mentioned maybe I should find out, for my own sanity. She said "if it will make you feel better, then it's no big deal." And she was right. Once I began to tell people that we were finding out, everyone seemed to draw a collective sigh of relief. As if there was a side bet going to see how long I'd last before I cracked.
It also didn't help that when most people met me for the first time just assumed because my first was a boy I'd want a girl this time. Truth was, I didn't much care either way. I'd even fed my neurosis by making a mental pro/con list:
1. The thoughts of cute little dresses, and ruffed socks, and hair decorations
2. The shopping that goes with #1 :)
3. The eventual joy of doing "mom/daughter" things like prom dress shopping and planning a wedding.
4. Giving my daughter a family name to help remember my mother.
5. Having more "back-up" later against the inevitable increasing testosterone level in my house
1. I am in L-O-V-E with my selected boy name
2. The thought of having two boys, two brothers who will share a life long bond is amazing
3. The frugality of having the same sex and not having to buy another thing.
4. Boys are so much fun
So today is the day. Today I'll feel 100% better, calmer, and more prepared. And either way I'll be happy. I do have my own theories about the gender, though I'll wait to share that tomorrow. But for today, you tell ME what you think? Boy or Girl?
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