Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Text from earlier today...

The husband and I are apart a good amount of time during the week, so we have some pretty random conversations over IM on our crackberries. But these two convo's today were funnier than usual, we're in rare form today.

Convo #1

Husband: Hey it's gonna be a late night, do we have anything at home to eat?

Me: Yes [running through the list of items in the fridge] but please let me know what you'd like to eat so I'll can try not to eat any of it.

Husband: Honey, eat what you want, I'll just find something when I get home

Me: No, I'm not kidding, the psycho crazy food cravings have kicked in and I'm eating anything not nailed down.

Husband: LOL!

ME: Wait! There's more, I had a bacon deluxe burger for lunch only about 1 1/2hrs ago and now I'm working my way through a can of mixed nuts.

Husband: We have mixed nuts?

ME: Ya, I bought them last night, they were on sale. Along with some jelly beans.

Husband: Ooh I like jelly beans!

ME: Uhm, ya...those may not have made it through the night.

Husband: [crickets]

Convo #2

ME: I screwed up

Husband: Why....?

ME: I had to take your mother to the airport, so I grabbed a $20 from our deposit stash for parking. But when I went to leave, I got stuck in the cash only automated teller machine line. So now I've got 18 gold dollar coins. I feel like a little old blue hair who just hit hit the jackpot in Vegas. [jingle, clink, jingle]

Husband: ROFL!

ME: Ya I figured you'd find that funny. How am I suppose to put coins in the atm!?!

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Tap, tap, tap....remember me?

So.....it's been like FOREVER since I posted.

[slap]...Bad blogger....[slap]...Bad blogger...

I kinda lost my momentum/inspiration and fell pathetically short of the unwritten expectations of a blogger. But I'm gonna give this another shot and try like hell to maintain a modest goal of 3 posts per week.

Now that we've got that cleared up, I'm guessing a catch-up post would be appreciated. So let me see...what is new....

Oh, yes [ding!]......WE'RE PREGNANT! However, I feel that's a bit anticlimactic since most of my readers knew that already. But hey, a good general announcement never hurt anyone.

We're due with #2 in August, and honestly we're thrilled, we're ready for this next stage of our lives. Well, I should probably qualify the word thrilled* with one tiny disclaimer.

* 8 weeks of all day, nauseating, porcelain throne praying, meat smell aversion, not tonight honey I have a vomit headache, "morning sickness" is more than necessary to remind a woman that this was her brilliant idea, and that she should probably consider making this her last pregnancy.

And...moving on to other things of importance worth noting:

1) We're actively trying to potty training. Tyler, unfortunately has other ideas and is actively NOT potty training.

"Tyler do you need to use the potty?"

No
[grunts]

"Are you sure....wait! Are you pooping?!?"

No

2) The husband and I are planning a short vacation (which happens to coincide with a business trip I'm being forced to take) to the beautiful Bay Area. This will be our first "vacation" since we got married almost 4 years ago, it's highly deserved/needed, and will most likely be the last "couple vacation" we get until we're both grey, crotchety and contemplating dentures.

3) We are spending an obscene amount of money finishing home improvement projects that were started over various periods of time, with good honest intentions, but for whatever pathetic reason were abandoned. We're forecasting that child #2 may be more than we bargained for and our spare time will become obsolete.
It was also determined, that future and forever New Year's resolutions for the husband will be: to NOT, under any circumstances, take the wife & the charge card to the Home Depot in the same trip, especially if she mentions "browsing", "getting ideas", "just looking" or any combination of those words.
4) We are waiting, not so patiently for Monday's big event of the gender ultrasound. The husband is slightly excited, he can be very apathetic. I, however, have hung my very existence on this determination. In my mind nothing can move forward in our lives until we know. It's it a girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy.....augh!!

I, although you'd never know it, bounce back and forth for weeks trying to decide if we'd find out or if we'd keep it a surprise. My sister unfortunately didn't find my indifference funny, she accused me of personally trying to torture her. She, is hanging her very existence on her sister providing her with a girl.

So, if I still have any readers left, I guarantee you I'll be better this time around than I have been in the past four months.

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Thursday, November 5, 2009

Damn that was fun, what's next?

I'm not really a post-coital cuddler.

I'm more of a roll over and sleep or flip the TV on for some quick channel surfing kinda gal. I'm on the move, ready for the next best thing. [snap, snap, snap] Probably because late at night is the only time I can relax and hear my own thoughts without being drowned out by the unrecognizable chatter of a 2 yr old. It can be quite a distraction from my own personal reflective inner monologue.

The husband however, likes to spend quiet quality time just hugging, listening to each other breath and having small conversations. It's not that I don't appreciate that I have a sensitive romantic husband, one who tries relentlessly to engage me in his small romantic gestures. I'm just not a touchy feely kinda person. I'm easily distracted and I love my husband, in my own weird way.

But last night was too funny.

After the obligatory marital act, the husband tried once again to be sweet by offering a loving kiss. I, too involved in channel surfing for something to watch for when he fell asleep, gave a quick peck out the side of my mouth without bothering to look. The husband balked; claiming that my attempt was half-assed and I needed to pay attention, be sweet and romantic in return. I sighed and turned to face him. He leaned over again, puckered up and pierced the silence with a loud fart.

I froze, and cast him a glance with a wryly smile. His face turned crimson red and we both burst into laughter.

"Honey, this is why we can't be romantic, because stuff like that happens!"

Life is never like it is in the movies.

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