The do-it-yourselfers

I think I know why people get divorced.

They buy a 30 year old house that needs a lot of cosmetic updates. Then attempt to make said improvements, together, on a Saturday, that is 90 degrees, while their 2 yr old son runs around wreaking havoc in the garage, and their basset hound, who suffers from extreme separation anxiety, howls, cries and scratches incessantly at the front door to be let out.

This kind of situation leads to lapses in judgment, injuries and the husband growling every 10 mins under his breath that "We should have just hired someone".

Perhaps, but I'm too cheap.

So after 5 hours, 2 re-dos, a 100+ curse words, three head injuries, 2 marital spats, one inquisitive neighbor who just smirked and calmly walked backwards out of the conversation, and a very large gap, we still do not have a fully functional screen door.

I may have ultimately resisted saying "I told you so" about the molding, but he did get his way and called "the guy".

The good news is we're still married. And the door will be fixed by Friday.

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Forward Friday - Top Ten List

I'm no David Letterman, but I sure do enjoy a good "Top Ten" list. Sometimes they're pretty lame, but then other times they're down right perfect.

My personal favorite is the "Top Ten messages left on Al Gore's answering machine", with #6 and #4 - utterly hysterical.



So I thought I'd give a shot at my own Top Ten List (borrowed, of course, I'm not this witty) That and I apparently can't count.


Top Ten Lessons women have learned about their men:

1. Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man’s mind wander - it’s too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don’t make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.

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